With God NOTHING is impossible...

I thought about naming this blog "knocked up", "the little engine that could", "facing the giants", "she's having a baby", "we're having a new tax exemption". But, regardless of what I called it the content is the same- Karin is pregnant. We found out last week. We will go to the doctor a week from Friday (2/8) for the bloodwork and whatnot but she has taken two tests and they both look like the above sample. The best we can tell right now she will be due in mid-September. This is a very random event. As many of you know we went through infertility treatment last year and it failed. We were not trying and there's really no reason (that we see) why it would happen when it did. My dad says it's the cold mid-west winter. So, keep us and Baby Humey in your prayers over the next few weeks while we're anxiously going through this first tri-mester. I can't believe my biological genes will live on- mwhahahahha (and me rubbing my hands together villainously). So, looks like our blog will take on a new subject matter.

I love this clip from "Scrubs". The song is "All of the words" by Kutless

For all you old school fans...the Harlem Globe Trotters!

Brian and Tayler went to see them play today at Conseco. Tay got lots of autographs and they had a blast!

Second part to the 10 ways to recognize your destiny!

Here are the rest for those that are interested:

6) What is the witness of the Holy Spirit in your spirit? Romans 8:16 says the Spirit will bear witness that your are doing what you are created to do. Don't live and die without discovering what you were purposed to do. Don't run from it out of fear. God protects you in your destiny-in every area. Don't let someone talk you out of your destiny. That treasure that God has built up in you will bless humanity. But, it will never work if you are walking in your wrong destiny.

7) What do mature Christians see in you? Mature Christians does not mean the older, gray, haired men and women. They could still be babes in Christ. A mature Christian is someone who is walking in the will of God. Prov 18:1 says that relationships are key in this. We are not islands unto ourselves. Seek wise counsel. Don't seperate yourself from those relationships with wisdom. Prov 11:4 says in a multitude of counselors there is safety. You will be safe in that. Psalm 1:1, Prov 13:20 says don't walk with self confident fools. Who do you listen to? Don't get talked out of your destiny by walking with those who are not walking in the will of God...regardless if they are Christians or not.

8) What career or ministry do you feel the peace of God about pursuing? There is a peace that passes ALL UNDERSTANDING. Isaiah 26:3 says that God gives perfect peace. Col 3:15 says that peace will rule as an umpire. There is an umpire that will rule as peace in your heart....again that safety. Search for the peace of God. Do you have this kind of peace about what you are doing?

9) What thoughts/visions/dreams are impossible to put out of your mind? This answer will bring you closer to your destiny. Acts 2:17 says God turns on a light inside of you and you CAN NOT EXTINGUISH IT. Listen to the dreams God is putting inside of you. You can not lead by your head.

10) To what can you give 100% of yourself to for your whole life? (hard one)

These are hard questions and I pray for you all that as we figure them out together we can live and die knowing we did what we were purposed to do.

Some good thoughts from readings this morning

I was reading a book called 31 days of Praise that a dear friend gave me a long time ago. I just started reading it. Today was really good. I wanted to share the first paragraph and also some scripture.

I love you Father b/c you first loved me and sent your Son to atone for my sins. And I stand amazed that Jesus, who by nature HAD ALWAYS BEEN GOD, DID NOT CLING TO HIS RIGHTS AS YOUR EQUAL .....THAT HE LAID ASIDE ALL HIS PRIVILEGES, to be born as a human being...that He totally humbled himself, submitting to the death of a COMMON CRIMINAL, enduring infinite humiliation and pain...that on the cross you laid on Him the compressed weight of al my sin and guilt and shame, OF ALL MY GRIEFS AND SORROWS, and He became sin for me, dying the death I DESERVED."

How many of us demand the respect we think we deserve in our jobs, relationships, marriages, etc b/c of our education, experience, etc. Yet, Jesus who had all privileges took on the death of a COMMON CRIMINAL .....how hard that must've been...he was human as well. How hard would that be for us? Talk about submission. May we all strive to to be that humble, that submissive.

Well, I think I won't share the other verses yet, b/c if you really chew on this, meditate on this, it is life changing.

10 Questions to help you determine your destiny

I was watching Creflo Dollar this morning (he is good, we took our youth in Johnson City to one of his conferences) He had a great message about 10 truths to help you determine your destiny in Christ. I will only share 5 today. I am assuming the other 5 will come on tomorrow.

1) What is the deepest desire of your heart? In Psalms it says God gives us the desires of our hearts, not what we desire, but He plants the desires there. Desire is a God given capacity. AS you delight yourself in the Lord, He will reveal these desires to you. But, you must delight in Him to know. Seperate your fantasies from these desires. God WILL fulfill these desires, b/c after all He gave them to you.

2) What stirs your passions? What gives your the most fire, excitement? (See John 2) For me, I think this is injustice. I am not sure in what capacity. I used to think it was for foster children and it still may be in the future, but injustice for me encompasses a lot...right now it is in the church and around the world.

3) What makes you the most upset? Again, kinda like number 2

4) What flows naturally out of you? If the shoe fits, wear it. Don't do things just to make yourself feel valuable, good, or to impress others. What's easy for you?

5) What produces good results/good fruit? (Matt 12:33 "The tree is known by its fruit") Jesus tells the parable about a man planting a tree. He actually gives a minimum and maximum time of seeing these fruits produced. The man planted the tree for three years. No figs were produced. The man asked Jesus if he could give it one more year to fertilize it and just see what happened. Jesus said one more year then cut it out! The message from this is, the minimum and maximum time of producing fruit from your efforts and what you think you are called to do.

Putting yourself in a race God never signed you up for will stop you from your true destiny. Creflo explained how he was a football player and that was all he wanted to do. He became a Christian, but never planned on going into ministry. One thing lead to another, and if he would've only pursued what he thought was his "calling"...which was pro-football, he would not be making the difference in this world he is today...which is monumental. (see World Changers Church if interested)

I encourage you to explore these questions as I will as well. They aren't easy to answer. I used to think I knew the answers but I need to spend time asking God to give me the desires of my heart. I encourage you to do the same. It may be something totally different than you think or you may be dead on!

Thanksgving!

I woke up in a pretty ill mood. Then, all my kiddos were late, so the shower I could've taken, didn't happen. Tayler was going to take the bus, b/c Brian had a sales meeting and I have three kids I am keeping....stressful to load them all in. But, after one arrived, I risked it and took Tayler to school. Luckily, the other two showed up about ten minutes after we got back. Tayler was supposed to be in the shower to catch the bus, yet, I went into his room and he was totally asleep....so that was stressful as we were in a rush. But, again, it all worked out...I just could not fathom sending him outside in the snow with wet hair and no gloves in the dark waiting for a bus. So, after all this, my heart just needs to list a few things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my husband who always delivers and is a supportive, stable rock. I am thankful for my wonderful son who blesses me everyday (even when he back talks...he did just turn 13) I am thankful for my sisters who are always there for me, listen, and empathize when I need it....even when I am selfish and don't ask about their lives or struggles.... I am thankful that in the midst of all of our financial issues/job changes lately, we have been able to pay our mortgage. I am thankful that God always provides and we aren't starving. I am thankful that God is restoring my spirit even when I have hardened my heart to him and been rebelling for months. I am thankful that He longs to have intimacy with me even though I have abandoned Him and his instruction constantly. I am thankful that NO ONE can condemn us as believers b/c Jesus died for us...for me. (Romans) I am thankful that I have the ability to type and share our lives with others. I am definitely thankful for the job that I was just offered at a great Physician's office that specializes in bariatrics and weight loss. I am just thankful.

What I've been up to!

These are some pics of my babysitting the past few weeks. It provides a tiny bit of income but definitely gives me somewhat of my baby fix. It has been fun. I am keeping some kiddos that I kept from infants to toddlers....now they are three (or almost) I am also keeping Mikey's one year old brother. It is fun, challenging, and you must be creative. We have worked on our ABC's (leap frog has the BEST video to learn the sounds....stole that idea from Rachel) Here are some pics of some basic things like eating to playtime with styrophoam blocks (building castles), playing cars, and of course making "sculptures" with playdough. (note to self, do this on the kitchen table not the coffee table with white carpet underneath...although, it luckily all came up and they were very helpful) We also have time to fit in some great bible lessons...there are some great books I read to Tayler that are age appropriate by Carolyn Nystrom, called Children's bible basics. We learned about prayer today. Oh yes, Mikey even helped Tayler cut Cookie's hair...he was so good with him. Enjoy the pics!

Romans

I felt a need to read Romans this morning. As I meditated on what if anything I needed to share, this is what came to mind. There was actually another passage I really wanted to share, but I will share what I felt "lead" to share. Not that this passage isn't full of good truth....

Romans 8:18-27 "I consider that our present sufferings are NOT WORTH comparing with the glory THAT WILL be revealed in us. The creation waits in EAGER EXPECTATION for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to FRUSTRATION, not by its own choice, but by the will of the One who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself WOULD BE LIBERATED FROM ITS BONDAGE to decay and brought into the FREEDOM AND GLORY of the children of God.

22: "We know that the whole creation has been GROANING as in pains of childbirth RIGHT UP INTO THE PRESENT TIME (who can relate to that?) Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the FIRST FRUITS of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we eagerly await our adoption, the REDEMPTION of our bodies. For in this hope, we are saved. BUT HOPE THAT IS SEEN IS NO HOPE AT ALL. WHO HOPES FOR WHAT THEY ALREADY HAVE? BUT IF WE HOPE FOR WHAT WE DO NOT YET HAVE, WE WAIT FOR IT PATIENTLY."

26: "In the same way, THE SPIRIT HELPS US IN OUR WEAKNESS. We do not know what we ought to pray for , but THE SPIRIT HIMSELF INTERCEDES FOR US THROUGH WORDLESS GROANS. And he who searches our hearts knows THE MIND OF THE SPIRIT, because the Spirit of God intercedes for God's people IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE WILL OF GOD."

Isn't it reassuring to know that when we don't know what God's will is or what we ought to pray for, the Holy Spirit is praying for us in accordance for God's will for each of us? We are only human by the way and on this journey we get lost and caught up in false motivations and things that we are so sure God wants for us. But, only God knows and as we learn to trust this verse (that can be done by memorization, hiding it in our hearts so that it comes up in times when we need it), we are assured that we have nothing to fear, because the Spirit is taking care of us and leading us.

Tayler's football tournament sleep over!

Tayler wanted to have a football tournament/sleep over with some of his friends. We ordered lots of pizza and had them over. WE turned on the car lights in the yard for them to see and they played hard. Afterwards, they played guitar hero (a tricky way for kids to learn all the songs of the 70's I must say) and other 360 games.

Then, we awoke them with breakfast. Homemade sausage and biscuits...I forgot the hashbrowns (something Tayler continued to mention) The rest of the day, they continued to play the tournament outside and right now inside....I must be used to boys b/c they are very rambunctuous! I think some would be pulling their hair out at this point.

Enjoy the pics!!

Some good truth

Yes, babysitting again, so time again to be in God's word and wanted to share some encouragement I read. I was telling Brian last night that as a "seasoned" Christian sometimes it is hard to "get anything" out of the Word b/c you have read it so many times. We both know this isn't true, but sometimes you get in a slump. I again remembered something a wise mentor once told me....to pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what He has to say to you before you read...then apply it to your life...meditate on it. There were many good verses I wanted to share, so you may get more later, but the one on my heart is this.

1 Corinthians 4-9 " I always thank God for you b/c of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For IN HIM (not of your own accord), you have been ENRICHED IN EVERY WAY-with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge-God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. Therefore YOU DO NOT LACK ANY SPIRITUAL GIFT as you eagerly await for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will also keep you FIRM TO THE END, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, who has called you into FELLOWSHIP WITH HIS SON (what a privileage) Jesus Christ our Lord."

How we get into a slump thinking we have nothing to offer...nothing to say....How we also think we won't stand firm but will fail (or I think these things anyway) but this verse says that is a lie from the enemy. I encourage you to meditate on this verse this week and see how it changes your week.

I was also thinking about Brian teaching in a few weeks. I read some good verses pertaining to that as well. So, yes, I will share.

2 Corinthians 2:1-5 "And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When I came to you, I did not come to you with eloquence or HUMAN WISDOM as I proclaimed to you the testimony of God. For I RESOLVED TO KNOW NOTHING while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in WEAKNESS with great fear and trembling (what a thought, Paul of all people) My message and my preaching were not with WISE AND PERSUASIVE WORDS, but with a DEMONSTRATION OF THE SPIRIT'S POWER! so that your faith MIGHT NOT REST IN HUMAN WISDOM, BUT ON GOD'S POWER."

How powerful church "services" would be if pastor's held onto this truth.

I also read that God's weakness is stronger than human strength. Wow-also a deep thought.

Well, that is all for now. Hope it all makes sense!

Suffering

I was watching Joyce this morning (again had time) and she was talking about being offended by trouble....offended with God, people, etc. It was such a good message. She talked about how John went before Christ and was the disciple "Jesus loved." Yet, he was beheaded and Peter who denied Christ was the "rock the church was built on." All throughout the bible the faithful have been through trouble...more than you and I and sometimes it doesn't seem fair or justful. But, there is a reason for it and it is preparation for God's purposes for our lives. WE were all sent here for a reason and have a divine purpose.

When we are in offense, we forget that. I have to admit, I have been like Job's wife to Brian lately. This has probably affected him greatly. I have been angry/offended with God and His people. I have basically told Brian like Job's wife, to forget God and the ministry. Not that Brian isn't also hurt and I don't take full responsibility for where we are at spiritually but I do have to ask for forgiveness for this. I know God can use this for good. I pray that God gets our feet firmly back planted onto His purposes for us in our marriage, ministry, in fact, all areas of our lives.

When we first married, we had a sense of urgency in doing what God had planned for us. I want to be back there. God brought us together for a purpose...we compliment one another and can do wonderful things to help this world....let us Get back to that Lord....yes, we were naive and hurt many times but again this goes back to the message on offense. Wasn't Joseph thrown in a well and sold into slavery by his own family, Job lost everything, David was despised and almost rejected as King, the disciples were tortured and Jesus was beaten and killed...they could've all walked away and been angry/offended. Boy, would they have missed out on the glorious riches God had planned for them. And as Paul said "I count all things as loss to do the will of God" (paraphrased)

Pray for us as we continue to follow and get back to where we are walking in intimacy unoffened and listening to God.....not only listening but TRUSTING. That is just a word that goes much deeper. Trust is the key and no easy task. "Trust and obey for their is NO OTHER WAY in Christ Jesus."

Verse meditation

I have been getting up early in the mornings babysitting for a friend so I have had time to sip my delicious coffee and read God's word. A verse I have meditated on each day is one pretty well known but I wanted to share the complete verse. The first part of the verse has been Tayler's favorite since he was five and he always uses it (maybe it was easy to memorize when he was doing that as part of Awana)....a wondeful program by the way that I would advise any parent to put their child in when old enough. They can start at 3.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he GAVE His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world THROUGH Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned but whoever does not believe stands condemned already b/c they have not believed in the name of God's ONE AND ONLY Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world but people (you and I) loved the darkness instead of the light b/c their deeds were evil. All those who do evil hate the light and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But those who live by the truth COME INTO THE LIGHT so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done in the sight of God."

Read this over and over and let it resinate in your heart. It is powerful and full of truth.

ps I can see why stay at home moms love it so much. You really do have more time to grow in God's word and just relax. Kuddos to all of you out there. In God's timing, maybe I will be there one day.

Preface

Let me preface the blog below by saying that none of these experiences compare to what Christ went through during His time on this earth. He was rejected, despised, his disciples betrayed Him, and ultimately He was beaten a grueling death for us....for ME. That is an amazing thought and Truth. So, in comparison, we struggle to find it all joy in the midst of such trials. But, it is a journey to that joy.

Goodbye to 07 (THANK GOD!)

First let me start this off by saying, I am not writing this for pity, I write to inform. In many ways, 2007 was good. But, in many other ways, it was one of the worst years of our marriage. It started off with Brian's grandfather dying in February-good thing from that was it was the last time we would see his mother. Shortly after, many, many tests, it was confirmed that we are infertile. This was hard news and we had very little support. When Brian did confide in some close let's say very close partners in ministry-they were not supportive at all. So, there was no solace for him in that. Not to mention the vulnerability it took for him to share that which just confirms in his mind or at least mine. for sure..that it doesn't pay to be vulnerable (a lie I know)

We did begin going to infertility therapy and that helped a great deal......Then, in May, Brian resigned from his longtime position (and the whole dang reason we are in this small town in Indiana!) Since then, unfortunately, we have been totally disconnected from many we loved there as conspiracy theories were planted in people's heads. How sad. We also found out that our first infertility treatment did not work.

We decided to pursue fostering again and a great opportunity presented itself. However, after one week with our foster daughters, Brian's mom died and I lost my job. Brian and I both started new jobs. Although, most thought we were crazy to continue to fight to keep fostering, it just wasn't the sane idea for us or the kiddos....but that doesn't keep you from feeling like a failure.

Then, things at my work became stressful and with budget issues and the such, I resigned from there in October. But, the week before that, Brian's mother suddenly died from a massive heart attack. I resigned the day we came back from the funeral. Nancy dying was shocking to say the least and much healing will continue to take place. Then, we were turning a corner...Brian got a great job with a company his mother worked for-how bizarre-and I got a Sales Mgmt position. Within weeks, I was number one in the midwest for sales and continued on a major streak- I thought I had finally found my niche. My store was also number one consistently and my staff were really excelling due to my leadership skills. That felt so good. Brian also received a promotion. Two weeks ago, right before Christmas, I found out that our organization was closing nationwide affecting 400 stores....nice. I had to let my staff go that very day....to say the least it was heartbreaking.

We also stepped out in May, believing there is a call on our lives to plant a church. Brian is a true visionary and has fabulous ideas. However, when he asked for support from other churches, we were told that "it just wasn't a good business idea for them" as this is a rural area and they wouldn't see a great return. That is something about "ministry" I am not sure I will ever get over....the business side.....nor the sickening territorial side of churches in the same area....what a disgrace. However, we are still doing monthly services..yet it is hard for Brian to work a Mgmt business position and focus on planting a church. Not to mention, the walls that are up in our hearts. Maybe we are "on a shelf" to heal and grow before going back into ministry. Only God knows.

WE have really been struggling with our faith and leadership in the church, but God is bringing both of our hearts back and after a lot of pain and resentment, we feel God changing us. This has affected every area of our lives- as you know, if you aren't truly submitting to God, and especially if you are hurt or angry with God, it affects everything-your personal identity, marriage, parenting, etc.

We have thought about just fleeing instead of fighting. In our message at church today, the pastor spoke on obeying and believing in faith. I leaned over to Brian and said you have to know what He wants you to obey, to actually obey. But, I was told many years ago by a wise mentor, that until then, you just obey what you do know He says.....from his Word.

Brian just graduated with his Master's and has 14 years of experience. But, I know in the end, all that matters is where God places us and what He wants us to do. My commitment for 2008 is to let God heal me, heal my relationship with Him, the Church, my marriage, and overall sanctify me. This won't be easy to do and I (we) appreciate all of your prayers and support. We have had wonderful mountain tops in our marriage and ministry and right now we are climbing back up that mountain. It is hard to stay gripped...and the dirt and muck that gets on you in that process isn't pretty. In fact, it gets very ugly-and many around you don't know how to handle it. But HE is the one holding us up. (and who better could you ask for?) And because we have been on the other side, we know how wonderful it is when you do allow Him to be the one leading you, comforting you, holding you, teaching you, and walking in complete surrender. How we long to be back there.

I feel I have let God down and a lot of people down in my life.(God, my immediate family, my family overall, my friends, etc)...not using my gifts-especially b/c one of my strongest is encouragement to others...it sucks. But, God knows and works all things out together for good to those who love Him. We hope and pray for a better 2008. In my heart, I know all of this will be used to glorify Him....as long as we let Him.

ps There were good things that happened and you can find that post that Brian wrote if you scroll down on old posts.

Much love,

Karin
2 Corinthians 8:2,3 "Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability....entirely on their own.

This is a powerful verse and my prayer for our family in 08