It's naptime and I am watching Chase sleep on the monitor. He is so peaceful as he lays his head down and covers up with his warm blanket on this rich snowy day. I have a few things on this heart of mine that I wanted to share. For the last several months you have heard me mention struggle and how God has been revealing Himself to me. This has been a life long process but increasingly so since summer.
I have begun to understand this elementary teaching..and not just understand it, but embrace it. ("If we are to share in His glory, we must also share in His suffering.") A few weeks ago, I also mentioned to you experiencing joy while singing. I honestly believe that in that moment, God did something totally unexpected in my heart. He changed me. I had and continue to have joy in the midst of unknowing and sometimes painful circumstances assured that I am in His will and unafraid of where He is taking me. The moment wasnt related to the song we were singing or the sermon being taught. I walked away knowing I would never be the same.
And since then, it is almost like I am experiencing a rebirth. I feel new, free and unashamed. I am yearning to study and learn about Christ in a new way...to understand who He really is and what He came to teach this world. I have been growing as a believer for close to 15 years. But, I feel like I havent even scratched the surface of who He is. Jesus is so contrary to all this world offers us, to all we as Christians believe we deserve. I would even propose that perhaps the reason we sometimes "cant find Him" is because He's standing in the opposite direction of all we are striving for.
I mentioned several weeks ago the Advent experience...it was through this exercise and those simple words spoken by my godly husband that are transforming my life-my worldview-my faith. I share this with you now in hopes that you could do the exercise with your spouse or small group. Spend some time really meditating on it. Let it resonate with you.
Line up against the wall. Answer the series of questions by stepping foward (if yes), stepping backward (if no) or remaining where you are if unsure.
Have you had a vacation this year?
Do you have a loving family?
Do you feel you have a special gift?
Do you feel close to God?
Have you plenty of food in your kitchen?
Do you know your neighbors?
Is your car less than five years old?
Do you have someone to share your secrets with?
Do you feel valued at work?
Do you get enough rest?
Do you own your own home?
Are you at peace with your friends?
Are you at peace with yourself?
Are you financially secure?
Do you have good memories of childhood?
Do you have good health?
By the end of questioning, the line has become a spread pattern of of spiritual states, the fortunate out front, the less fortunate left behind. And now the coup. Turn around for God has decreed the Great Reversal-and suddenly, the fortunate are at the back, and the last are out in front.
"The Great Reversal subverts me. Tired of pressing forward, I realize I need to turn, for what I have been searching for has just walked past me the other way."
(Taken from Alternative Worship;an exercise called the Great Reversal)
Will you choose to walk the other way? To not only be radically changed but in doing so radically change the world around you? You might be surprised at what or Who you discover in the process.
Thanks for sharing in my journey. Please feel free to share your insights revealed to you along the path you find yourself on.